Part 4: The Method
Loving-Kindness and Compassion
བྱམས་པ་དང་སྙིང་རྗེ།
byams pa dang snying rje
Chapter Summary
The third remedy addresses attachment to personal peace—the subtle obstacle of seeking liberation only for oneself. Loving-kindness and compassion open the heart to all beings, dissolving self-interest and preparing the ground for bodhicitta. Through remembering the kindness of one's mother and extending that gratitude to all beings who have been our mothers throughout beginningless time, genuine love and compassion naturally arise.
There is a kind of spiritual practitioner who has done everything right — they have contemplated impermanence, they have seen through samsara's false promises, they understand karma, and they practice diligently. But something is missing. Their practice has become a private project. They want liberation for themselves.
This is the third obstacle, and it is the most subtle of all: attachment to the bliss of personal peace. It is the desire to escape samsara without looking back — to achieve nirvana for yourself while leaving everyone else behind. Gampopa does not dismiss this motivation as worthless. It is genuine renunciation, and it leads to genuine attainment. But it is incomplete. It is like crossing a river on a boat built for one, while your family stands on the far shore, still drowning.
The remedy is and — the qualities that crack open the sealed chamber of self-concern and flood it with care for all beings.
To achieve one's own benefit, One sacrifices the benefit of many others. The more one attends to self-interest in this way, It becomes supremely beneficial for oneself.
But if one develops and , one becomes attached to sentient beings and cannot bear to attain liberation alone. The word "attached" (chak pa) here is used positively—a wholesome attachment to others' welfare that counters the unhealthy attachment to one's own individual freedom.
Manjushrikirti declared:
The Mahayana followers should not separate their minds from and for even a moment.
And:
Others' benefit is preserved by love and , not by hatred.
Why Love Before Compassion?
As the great master Chandragomin said: " flows through the channel made by ." Love creates the connection between us and others through which can flow.
The reasoning is practical: focuses on wishing others happiness—initially quite attractive and joyful. focuses on others' suffering—more challenging and potentially painful. Starting with love opens the heart gently; then becomes much easier. Without this foundation, attempting prematurely can backfire, generating resistance or even anger toward those who suffer. Love provides the resilience and positivity that sustains .
I. Loving-Kindness
The Six Topics
Gampopa presents through six topics:
Classification, object, and identifying characteristic, Method of practice, measure of the practice, and qualities of the practice— Thus, these six completely comprise the study and practice of immeasurable .
The emphasis on "immeasurable" (tshad med) is crucial. Every being feels some love for friends and family—that is not what is taught here. What is required is love without restriction: limitless in extent (embracing all beings) and limitless in time (never declining). Partial love—loving some but not others—actually solidifies self-clinging, using loved ones to build a sense of security.
A. Classification
Three categories:
1. with sentient beings as object — Practiced by beginners and those who have just developed bodhicitta. Beings are perceived as if they truly exist.
2. with phenomena as object — Practiced by bodhisattvas on the path of application who understand cause and effect. Beings are seen as processes of dependently arising phenomena.
3. Non-objectified — Practiced by bodhisattvas who have realized emptiness. Beings are perceived as empty yet appearing, and love arises toward those who cling to fictions.
As beginners preparing for bodhicitta, we practice the first type.
B. Object
All sentient beings are its object—without exception, without limit.
C. Identifying Characteristic
A mind that wants all sentient beings to meet with happiness and the causes of happiness.
The full definition includes causes: we wish them happiness now (in body and mind) and the virtue that ensures future happiness.
D. Method of Practice
The practice begins with remembering the kindnesses of all sentient beings—starting with one's mother in this life.
Note: If one's relationship with one's mother is difficult, start with whoever has shown you selfless kindness—father, sibling, friend. The principle remains: begin with the intimate and particular, where love arises easily, then expand to all beings.
The Four Kindnesses of the Mother
The 8,000 Stanza Perfection of Wisdom says:
The mother has given us these bodies, the mother went through hardship, the mother gave us our lives, and the mother has shown us the whole world.
1. The Kindness of Giving Your Body
At first, we were not fully matured. We began in the womb as just an oval spot, an oblong lump. From there we developed through the vital essence of the mother's blood and flesh, growing through her food while she endured embarrassment, pain, and suffering. After birth, from a small being until we were fully grown, she developed our body.
2. The Kindness of Undergoing Hardships
At first, we had no clothes, no wealth, no provisions. We came empty-handed with just a mouth and stomach.
When we came to this place where we knew no one:
- She gave food when we were hungry
- She gave drink when we were thirsty
- She gave clothes when we were cold
- She gave wealth when we had nothing
She did not just give us things she didn't need. She gave what she did not dare use for herself—things she did not dare eat, drink, or wear, things she did not dare employ for her own happiness in this life or the next.
She collected these things through creating various negative karmas, through sufferings and hardships—working at business or farm, "wearing frost for shoes, wearing stars as a hat, riding on the horse of her legs." She even risked negative karma if necessary to preserve her child.
Furthermore, she loved the unknown one—us, a stranger to her—much more than her own parents and teachers. She watched us with eyes of love, kept us warm in soft cloth, dandled us in her fingers, calling out in a loving voice.
3. The Kindness of Giving Your Life
At first, we could not eat with our own mouth and hands, could not endure hardships. We were like feeble insects without strength—silly and unable to think.
Without rejection, she served us, put us on her lap, protected us from fire and water, held us from precipices, dispelled all harmful things, and performed rituals. Out of fear for our death or health, she had divinations done and consulted astrologers. Through inconceivable means, she protected her child's life.
4. The Kindness of Showing You the World
At first, we knew nothing—could only cry and move our legs and hands.
She taught us:
- How to eat when we did not know how
- How to wear clothes when we did not know how
- How to walk when we did not know how
- How to talk when we could not say "Mama" or "Hi"
- Various skills and creative arts
She tried to make us equal when we were unequal, tried to make the uneven smooth.
From One Mother to All Mothers
Not only has our mother in this lifetime performed these kindnesses, but from beginningless samsara she has served as our mother countless times.
The Beginningless Samsara Sutra says:
This whole world—if this all were made into pieces the size of juniper berries by one person, and another person were to count them, it is possible to exhaust the whole world. But one cannot count the number of times one sentient being has been our mother.
Nagarjuna's Letter to a Friend echoes:
Using pieces the size of juniper berries, The earth is insufficient to account for the limit Of one's maternal lineage.
Each time we had a mother, she performed these same kindnesses. Therefore, a mother's kindness is limitless.
But the expansion continues: All sentient beings have been our mothers, and all have performed these same kind deeds. How many sentient beings are there? As space is limitless, so sentient beings pervade.
The Aspiration Prayer for Proper Conduct Sutra says:
Limitless as the infinity of space, Such are the numbers of sentient beings.
Therefore, one should practice developing a pure desire for all sentient beings—limitless as space—to have happiness and benefit.
When this mind arises, it is called genuine . The Ornament of Mahayana Sutra says:
From the marrow of their bones, Bodhisattvas view every sentient being As their own child. In this way, they consistently have the desire to benefit others.
When tears come from the eyes and the hairs of the body stand up through the power of , that is called great .
If one directs this kind of mind toward all sentient beings equally, it is called immeasurable .
E. Measure of the Practice
When one does not desire happiness for oneself, but only for other sentient beings, that is the perfection of the practice of .
This does not mean hating oneself—that would be a strong disturbing emotion obstructing love for others. Rather, it means overcoming self-interest so that concern focuses on others. Happiness naturally arises for oneself as a ripening of practice; there is no need to specifically meditate love toward oneself.
Lama Jampa Thaye's note: "The notion that one begins the practice of by first meditating to oneself... I have never heard it from my masters, and I have never seen it in any Mahayana text."
F. Qualities of the Practice
One obtains limitless qualities by practicing . The Moon Lamp Sutra says:
Limitless offerings of various objects Filling millions of fields Offered to the supreme beings— That cannot equal the practice of .
Why? Giving is wonderful, but is an even deeper step outside of self-interest—more transformative, more powerful.
Even practicing for one moment brings limitless merit. The Precious Garland says:
Food cooked in 300 pots and Given to people three times a day— That merit cannot be matched By the practice of for one moment.
One receives eight benefits until achieving enlightenment:
One will be loved by the gods and human beings and will also be protected by them, Will achieve mental peace and many happinesses, Will not be harmed by poison or weapons, Will achieve wishes without effort, and Will be reborn in the Brahma-world. Even one who is not liberated from samsara will Obtain these eight qualities of .
To protect oneself, is best, as in the story of Brahmin Mahadatta. To protect others, is also best, as in the story of King Bala Maitreya.
II. Compassion
When is perfected, the practice of is not difficult. Most of the work has been done: the heart is open, the connection to all beings established.
The Six Topics
Classification, object, and identifying characteristic, Method of practice, measure of the practice, and qualities of the practice— Thus, these six completely comprise the study and practice of immeasurable .
A. Classification
Three types, paralleling :
1. with sentient beings as object — Developing by seeing the suffering of sentient beings in the lower realms and throughout samsara.
2. with phenomena as object — When trained in the Four Noble Truths, understanding cause and result, arises toward those confused about impermanence and dependent arising.
3. Non-objectified — Established in realization that all phenomena are empty, arises especially toward those who cling to the fiction of true existence. This is the of Buddhas, who see beings suffering needlessly through clinging to what is unreal.
As beginners, we meditate on the first type.
B. Object
All sentient beings are its object.
C. Identifying Characteristic
A mind that wants all sentient beings to separate from suffering and its causes.
As we say: "May all sentient beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering." The causes, as taught in the chapter on karma, are non-virtuous actions.
D. Method of Practice
We join this practice through our feelings for this life's mother—using the connection already established in meditation.
Compassion for the Hell Realms
Suppose my mother was in a place where someone beat her, cut her to pieces, cooked or burned her in fire, or suppose she was freezing cold and her body was blistering. Immediately, extreme would arise—I would want to pluck her from that suffering.
Likewise, the sentient beings in the hell realms—who were definitely our mothers—are presently being tortured by these sufferings. Why would not arise? So meditate on a compassionate desire to free such beings from suffering and its causes.
Compassion for the Hungry Ghost Realm
If my mother was in a place where she suffered from thirst and hunger, tortured by sickness, fever, fear, and helplessness, then I would develop extreme .
Likewise, the sentient beings of the hungry ghost realm—who were definitely our mothers—are being tortured by these sufferings. Meditate on a compassionate desire to free such beings from suffering.
Compassion for the Animal Realm
If my mother was in a place where she suffered aging and weakness, enslaved without choice, beaten, killed, cut—then I would develop extreme .
Likewise, the sentient beings in the animal realm—who were definitely our mothers—are suffering this way. The animal realm is a situation of total helplessness in the face of oppression. Meditate on a compassionate desire to free such beings from all their sufferings.
Compassion for the Higher Realms
If my mother was near a precipice over which she could fall for a thousand yojanas, was unaware of this danger and no one showed it to her, and once she fell into the abyss she would experience great suffering and be unable to climb out again—then I would develop extreme .
Likewise, the gods, humans, and demigods are near the dangerous precipice of the lower realms. They have no awareness that they should avoid negative actions; they have not met spiritual masters. Once they fall down, it will be difficult to come out of the three lower realms—in the lower realms there is little chance to practice virtue, little intelligence or freedom from oppression.
Why would not arise? Meditate on a compassionate desire to free such beings from these sufferings.
E. Measure of the Practice
When one has fully purified self-cherishing, is fully released from the chain of self-cherishing—when from the depths of the mind one desires all sentient beings to be free from suffering—then one has perfected the practice of .
Authentic has no trace of self-interest. If we want acknowledgment, reward, or to feel good about being compassionate, that is not authentic—self is still intruding. The radical distinction between and sentimentality: sentimentality masquerades as being about others but is really about me. is only about others.
F. Qualities of the Practice
The Expression of the Realization of Chenrezig says:
If one had just one quality, it would be as if all the Buddhas' qualities were in your palm. What quality is that? Great .
The Accomplishment of Dharmadhatu Sutra says:
Blessed One, wherever the precious wheel of the great monarch is found, there are all his troops. Likewise, wherever the great of a bodhisattva is found, there will be all the qualities of the Buddhas.
The Showing the Secrets of the Tathagata Sutra says:
Guhyapati, the primordial wisdom of the Omniscient One grows from the root of .
Conclusion: The Catalyst for Bodhicitta
When through one wants all beings to achieve happiness, and through one wants all beings to be free from suffering, then one is no longer interested in achieving one's own peace and happiness alone. Then one is delighted to attain Buddhahood for the benefit of all beings.
This becomes the remedy to attachment to the pleasure of peace.
By developing and , one cherishes others more than oneself. Atisha's Lamp for the Path to Enlightenment says:
By examining the awareness of one's own suffering, One develops a desire to completely free All sentient beings from suffering. That is called a Supreme Being.
Thus, one cultivates the mind of the Supreme Beings. and are the necessary catalysts—the opening of the heart that allows bodhicitta to arise.
Study Questions
Gampopa teaches that loving-kindness must be "immeasurable" — extending to all beings without exception. When you honestly assess the scope of your own love, where do you notice the boundaries? Who is it hardest for you to include, and what do you think creates that limit?
The practice begins by recalling the four kindnesses of your mother (or primary caregiver): giving your body, undergoing hardships, giving your life, and showing you the world. As you reflect on these, which kindness moves you most deeply, and can you feel how that gratitude might extend to other beings?
The chapter distinguishes authentic compassion from sentimentality: sentimentality masquerades as being about others but is really about "me." Can you identify times when your desire to help others was entangled with wanting acknowledgment, feeling good about yourself, or some other form of self-interest?
Gampopa explains that loving-kindness comes before compassion because love "opens the heart gently" and makes compassion sustainable. Have you experienced trying to engage with others' suffering without first establishing a foundation of warmth — what happened?
The meditation on compassion asks you to imagine your mother in each of the six realms of suffering and to extend that feeling to all beings. When you attempt this practice, which realm's suffering is easiest to connect with emotionally, and which feels most abstract or distant? --- *This is the seventh chapter, dealing with loving-kindness and compassion, from The Jewel Ornament of Liberation, the Wish-fulfilling Gem of the Noble Teachings.*